Monday, 8 June 2015

The one with... mommyhood talk.

Recently I had a conversation with my mommyhood friends, about seeing how our kids socialising with their peers and trying to fit in.

Although it is part and parcel of growing up, but as mothers, it is just so heart-breaking to see our kids being 'rejected' with that infamous sentence of ‘tak nak kawan!’ or ‘kita jangan kawan dia!’ at such a tender age. Sobs. I’m sure we’ve gone through ourselves when we were at their age (well bad news: it’s a lifetime process except that the more we age it happens in a more subtle, political way rather than such straight to the face kind!), tapi tu lah, sedih kan. Because now we are looking at the situation from the perspective of a mother. A mother who feels the need to protect her children. Like how to talk to our kids to deal with such rejection. How to talk to our kids to NOT do that to their peers. And how to talk to the PEERS to not do that as well.

Well of course if we were to act on our hormonal, over-protective mother mode, the solution will be – pergi je kat kawan2 tu and say “Aunty tak kira, korang kena jugak kawan dengan anak aunty, I don’t care! Say sorry balik”. Gitu… Hehehe.

Well against the backdrop, having said that how many of us parents ‘practise’ (unconsciously) the ‘taknak kawan’ approach at home when our kids do not want to oblige certain request? Sounds familiar? Well, I know it DOES happen at ours. Sigh. 

Between Khayr and Kazim, when they fight over stuff, they always say things like that.

“Kazim taknak share dengan abang, abang taknak kawan Kazim!”.

“Mamaaaa tengok abang Khayr tu, dia taknak baca buku sama2. Kita jangan kawan dia ok!”.

I can’t remember how it actually started :( And somehow it does not stop there. It goes beyond our home, i.e. not just with us. With the grandparents, aunties and uncles too. I mean, we all have the tendency to say that.!

And based on the conversation I had with my mommyhood friends, somehow it's a common scene at every home. Well ok, maybe not every home lah. But it's common. Something that I'm sure started unconsciously with a no-harm intention now have a different harmful impact huh. Sigh.

Back to parenting 101. Lets do something about this. Calling for parents united.

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