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Thursday, 29 March 2012

The one with... nobody said it was easy....

Hi! I've been meaning to blog like I always do but alas I am still adjusting, well, struggling with life as a mother of 2.. :( I had better days, and on some other days, I was just left feeling frustrated...

I know this is just a phase and that once I get the hang of things, everything will fall into places. And I can't wait for that day to come. And until then, I don't think I want to sound like a complete whiner here though I could use some lending ears to channel these feelings away...

If there's any consolation, I have another 7 days to go for confinement.. and 3 kgs to shed off!! (ok shape wise itu kita adjust later.. :P).. and baby Kazim has been growing so healthily Alhamdulillah... oh lagi satu, here's to a good start to stocking EBM! Syukur...

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Friday, 9 March 2012

The one with... giving birth experience to baby #2 :)

Hi !

Things have been SUPER busy with me adjusting life with a newborn AND a toddler. PLUS all the confinement rituals, do’s and don’ts -- I’ve been really occupied (in a good way, of course).

Anyways, now that I have some time to spare for myself, I’ve decided to write my recent giving birth experience, not wanting the memory to go fade away just like that. Though I’m pretty sure there’s no way I WILL EVER forget such a memorable moment, but still, I am only human.

So.. here goes.

My EDD was supposed to be on 28 February 2012. Because during my 1st pregnancy Khayr was born 3 weeks earlier than his EDD, this time around, I felt a bit jittery once I’ve passed the 37 weeks mark. And because my cue to give birth to Khayr was him having less movement in my tummy, this time around I was SO nervous wondering what would be the sign(s).

Despite feeling so anxious, I’ve been enjoying my final days before giving birth to the max ♥ Hubs sent me to and fetch me from work, we went out to watch movies, eat food I wanted to eat, did last minute shopping for baby, took day off everytime I had my check up (which was already on a weekly basis by then), and etc. Hubs also has been kind enough to accompany me to have a mani-pedi session during one of the days, something he’s never agreed on, trust me, EVERRRR.

Boy thinking back, I had such a great time =)

And then came 22 February 2012 (which was Khayr’s EDD last time by the way). The day I was supposed to finish some stuff at work. The day Kerol had an important meeting to attend at Klang. The day we were supposed to have a buffet dinner at Sime Darby Convention Centre with Kerol’s family, to redeem the Groupon voucher Kerol bought months ago. The day my brother-in-law was suppose to borrow a good camera from his friend to take some photos of me being pregnant with Khayr’s baby brother.

Sigh.

But hey ironically, the night before 22 February 2012, I actually posted this at my Instagram account:


Heh macam tau2 je kan?

7am.
So anyway, that morning, Kerol had his shower first. Then came my turn, on my way to the toilet suddenly I had a blood show. Together with a leak of something watery (I’m pretty sure it was not urine). It was around 7am that time. OMG I FREAKED OUT!!!! I told, well, shouted “Haaaaa Ape ni?? Ape ni??? Dah nak beranak ke?” -- something like that. To which Kerol took it ever so calmly (GRRR!!!) and said, “Takde ape2 tu.. lambat lagi. Let me go for my meeting first. But you, you stay home and keep monitoring. Ada contraction tak?”


I said “Haaaa.. What if I’m one of those who have a speedy process of giving birth? Don’t you dare to go to Klang and leave me here! Hospital bag pun tak pack lagi niiii.. “ (Serious, panic at the disco betul I was at that time.. And yes, kitorang memang tak pack hospital bag lagiiiii.. !)


Kerol then agreed to just go and pass the meeting materials to his colleague, and promised to be back the soonest possible to bring me to the hospital.


In the mean time, I texted office saying that I had my waterbag breaks and a blood show (to be honest, I wasn’t even sure which one); and also called my mom. Ke mana tumpahnye kuah kalau tak ke nasi, my mom freaked out why I was still at home and that Kerol was out. And also, ke mana tumpahnye kuah kalau tak ke nasi, my MIL on the other hand said “Lambat lagi tu… Kalau betul2 dah nak beranak, awak mesti experience a painful, frequent contractions.. and that a gush of waterbag breaks.. Not just a mere leak”.

I took my shower, and after all dressed up, I remember my gynae’s advice -- if not sure whether your waterbag has break or not, put on a pad. If the pad is soaked wet minutes later, then sure fire it is. To double confirm that, I called my friend Nana because I remember her telling me that she experienced waterbag breaks when she was at home. Confirmed, my waterbag was still intact, what I had was a blood show because I can see blood stain on the pad.


While waiting for hubs to be back home, I packed the hospital bag. And the stuff to be brought to my mom’s house since I was gonna have my confinement done at my mom’s. But maybe because things were SO last minute, I didn’t do the packing properly. Huhu.. Sebab it took almost a week or so for hubs to completely bring all the things needed to my mom’s.. :P Haihhhh lesson learnt!


10am.
My MIL and SIL helped to get Khayr ready, and we brought Khayr to my mom’s house, and by then it was already 10am or so. Had a quick breakfast (lapar, tapi takde selera!), and off we went to GlenE to see my gynae. She confirmed that my waterbag was still ok, and that I had a blood show. And to my surprise, I was already 3cm dilated! Wahhh seriously terkejut. Sebab ye lah kan, masa Khayr dulu, dari 1cm nak ke 3cm, mak aiiii it took me 16 hours or so kot. 


Then my gynae sent me to the labour room so that the midwife can monitor my contraction. Turned out I only had a mild one. So gynae gave me options -- (1) She will break my waterbag and let the labour process begins.. or (2) Let the nature takes its course.

We chose the latter.

1pm.
We decided to go to my office so that I can take my laptop back, and then to go for lunch. But my oh my, it was lunch time so the traffic was crazy! It took us almost 1.5 hour to and fro my office, and by then I started to have a more painful and frequent contractions. Masa tu ye, Kerol dah start tak senang duduk. He suggested for us to have our lunch at Dome located at the hospital itself, but I insisted on having my ‘last meal’ at Cozy Corner in GE Mall instead. 


Maka meredah jam la kami kat Jalan Ampang tu to go to GE Mall, and I had what seems to be so yummylicious ever butter squid and some chicken dish (forgot the name of the dish); with air longan yang sungguh sejuk… Ahhhh best! 




Dah la the night before I had my big glass of ribena longan kat William’s Corner. Sunggoh puas hati (dan nafsu.. Haha)..



Oh ye, btw food at the William’s Corner in Setapak / Danau sucks big time ye. So disappointing!

Anyway, sambil2 makan lunch tu, every 5-6 mins I had to brave myself through the painful contractions.. Hehehe. Dah la kena tahan sambil cover2 sebab ye lah kan, nanti waitress and other patrons nampak, mesti pelik kan… Lepas makan, we went to Toys R Us kejap, to buy a gift for Khayr, on behalf of his baby brother… ;) (and so they said to ensure the eldest won’t get jealous over the second one…)




3pm.
We were back in the labour room. 






Monitor punya monitor, saaaaampai la pukul 7pm macam tuh, I did not progress much. Apparently I was still 3cm dilated. And that my contractions were still far apart and not that intense yet. I was like “Whattttt?!”


The reading at the CTG machine was ’30 – 40’ and the midwife told me that in an established labour, it would go up to 100. I was like, okeyyyyy.. What I had was nothing then. Hmmmmmm.


Oh sementara kat labour room tu, sempat laaa buat sesi pregnancy photoshoot sekejap, pakai camera phone saje.. Asal ado..... :D

7pm.
My gynae came and again, she told us about the 2 options. Again, we chose to let the nature to take its course. Gynae told me to watch out on these things -- waterbag leakage, contractions, and baby’s movement.

7.15pm.
We were about to step of the labour room, discussing what should we do with the remaining time left -- tengok wayang ka.. makan2 ka.. balik rumah ka… anddddd of course my waterbag had to leak at that time kannnnn… Hahaha funny sunggoh la haiiiiii. Hambekkkk terus kena tahan. 


In the meantime, back at home, Kerol’s family was getting ready to have that buffet dinner at SDCC. Ye lah, kalau tak rugi je the voucher. Sigh.

9.30pm.
Contraction makin kuat, even a massage at the back by hubs did not help much. The midwife offered me the epidural, and because of my 1st experience before, I was being firm enough when I rejected the offer. I took the pethidine and ethonox gas option instead. Initially I felt that these 2 pain reliefs did not help much, but after I got the hang of how to use the gas, my mind was somehow managed to separate itself from the pain I felt on my body. Like I felt the pain, but it didn’t connect with my brain to let me feel it completely… Macam wenggggg habes laaaaa macam tu… :P


Midwife predicted that I will only give birth the next day given how slow my dilation was. I was already pasrah yang I’m the type yang lambat dilate..  :( Just how I experienced masa giving birth to Khayr dulu…

10.30pm.
Everytime the contraction came, about this time around I felt the urge to push. I screamed “Sakitttttt… Rasa macam nak terannnnnnnn!!!”.. Midwife came and did the vaginal examination; and was shocked to learn that I was already 7-8cm dilated. Dalam keadaan stone tuh, I can sense panic in the room when I heard the midwife shouted out loud “Call Doctor Suhaiza now!!!!”.. and suddenly my legs were lifted up, being put in the position to give birth.


To be honest, I could not remember much about what took place thereafter. I was so stone from the effect of the gas, but I could still hear the things around me and took instruction.

I knew I screamed a lot.
I knew hubs kept on shoving me the ethonox gas mask for me to breathe in.
I knew I felt something about to come out from my body.
I knew I heard my gynae, the 2 midwives, and hubs kept on cheering for me.
I knew I had a one big waterbag breaks.
I knew I gave few long hard pushes before I felt an utter relief.
I knew I heard my baby crying.
I knew my baby was put in front of me and that I kissed him.
I knew I have safely given birth to healthy 3.55kg baby boy at 11.45pm, on 22 February 2012.


BUT, everything felt as if I was in a dream or something. Sunggoh la macam di awang2an..


According to hubs, it was almost 1 hour after that only I started to feel sober and more alert. Sheesh. And it was after that only I learnt that the umbilical cord was around my baby’s neck and hence, made it hard for him to turn to the right position masa nak keluar tu. Kepala dah lepas, but his shoulder didn’t turn the way it was supposed to, that my gynae had to help the situation from outside while the midwives had to push from the top of my tummy. Sigh, seriously tak sedar pun semua tuh. Huhu.


All in all, alhamdulillah… I had such an amazing moment. This time around, I felt the baby when he was about to make his debut to the world. And because of that, it had helped me a lot on when to push and how long should I hold my breath while pushing. Even hubs told me that he can see the difference between my first giving birth experience with this second one. With epidural masa first time dulu, I was guide-less and clueless when it comes to the pushing games sebab ye lah, I did not feel a thing!


Thinking back, it was such a ‘ngeri’ experience pun ada, sebab sampai sekarang macam boleh terngiang2 rasa baby kat bawah tu masa dia nak keluar.. Ngeri, but cukup indah… :’)


Oh it was later when we were in the ward that hubs showed a video of me merepek meraban masa tengah high on the ethonox gas. Hampagas sunggoh! He questioned me things, talked to me.. etc and there I was macam orang tengah stone cakap ntah hape2.. I talked. Then minutes later, I cried. Haishhh so embarassing! :P


So we decided to name him K@zim Eydl@n (pronounced as Idlan). Kazim = Penyabar. Idlan = Adil. Semoga our baby lives up to his name, Aminnnnn.




Tapi tu lah, talking about name kan, when we agreed on ‘K@zim’, serious masa tu tak tau pun pasal Ustaz K@zim Eli@s tu tau… =) Nasib baik masa dekat2 nak lahir tu, baru kitorang tau about the ustaz. Otherwise Kerol dah nak letak nama ‘Elyas’ dah.. Huhu.. Sebab dari dulu kitorang macam suka la jugak nama ‘Elyas’ tuh…


Masa tau tu, I was like… “Taknak laahhhh.. Nanti orang kata kita tiru pulak.. Baik letak nama D0n Daniy@l terus ke ape kannnn.. Alang2 nak nama ustaz..”  You get what I mean? Hehehe…

Oh well, okie dokie. That’s all I have. Baby Kazim is 16 days old as of today… and was pronounced clear from jaundice this morning! Yeay I’m a one happy mother! :) Alhamdulillah Kazim takde sampai kene warded macam Khayr dulu….


Alritey. I better stop now. Till god-knows-when later~*


Abang Khayr yang sebok nak mandi dalam bath tub adik after seeing his baby brother being bathed in one... Well to be fair, it was Khayr's bath tub pun once upon a time... Hehe


And is enjoying having a new friend to play his toy car with.. -__-'


Atas: Khayr. Bawah: Kazim.
Age: Few days of life.
Kazim was born 3.55kg, while Khayr was 2.75kg. Sungguh jauh beza but somehow Khayr macam lagi bam2 dari lahir, and Kazim is more like berat tulang kot cause dia tak la bam2.. but tinggi. Just look at the same baju they were wearing. Khayr nampak gedobos in it, while Kazim, nampak ngam2. Siap kat tangan tu tersingsing sikit...
Andddd.. Kazim tak secerah Khayr. Mungkin kah sebab I did not drink as much milk and soya drink masa pregnant with him? Or it is just merely this thing my family called - syndrom anak kedua? Hehehe.
Oh well, yang penting.. sihat dan cukup sifat... Alhamdulillah...

Monday, 5 March 2012

The one with... feelings for my 3 K's ♥



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