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Monday, 22 February 2010

The one with... giving birth experience...

! Be warned: long entry ahead.. !

My EDD was supposed to be today on 22 February 2010.. and honestly, both Kerol and I thought that our baby will only be delivered some time during the Chinese New Year break the soonest, if not later.

But it’s all started during the first week of February.

Wednesday, 3 February 2010.
I didn’t feel any baby movement since morning around 10am or so.. I was in office the whole day and was quite busy rushing things out as much as I can before I go for my maternity leave.. So trying to comfort myself, I thought, “Oh maybe sebab sibuk sangat kot sampai tak perasan baby ada move..”.. Truth to be told, I was not really convinced but hang on to my own words of comfort anyway.

Towards evening, still, there was no sign of baby moving. I was worried sick. So worried and stress I accidentally let it out on Kerol. He was supposed to pick me up from work but he arrived late because it was raining in KL, so biasa lah… mesti la traffic jem teruk. But I made such a big fuss. We were both on a quiet mode all the way back home until he broke the silence by asking me what I wanted to have for dinner. To which I replied, “Anything..”.. and that’s when suddenly I burst into tears and told him that our baby was not moving since morning. He then touched my tummy and tried to ‘play’ with the baby, because normally the baby will give some kind of reaction towards it. Confirmed, no movement still.

So we had a quick dinner and rushed to Naluri thereafter. I was scolded for coming in late, they said I should have come earlier. I was put on the CTG machine, and thank God, baby’s heartbeat was normal.. but my gynae macam tak puas hati why my baby didn’t move, so she wanted for me to be admitted right away and to be induced. Both Kerol and I were like, “Haaahhh?? Induce? Today??”.. That was like, TOO SOON to be true…wasn’t it? It was already close to 12 midnight when the gynae told us that, so trying to buy time, we discussed with the gynae and told her that we wanted to go back first, and that we will come to proceed with the procedure the next morning. My gynae agreed.

Thursday, 4 February 2010.
We couldn’t sleep at all that night. Both of us kept on talking and playing with the baby.. To our relief, there were few movements here and there.. but those were the weak ones… :(

10 am - We made move to Naluri again. Based on the scanning, baby’s condition was ok, my waterbag level was ok, and baby’s heartbeat was ok too. But to my surprise, I was already 1 cm dilated. Gynae said, I needed to be warded and monitored right away. I told her I haven’t had any meal yet, so my gynae allowed me to have my ‘last’ meal.. :P Ibu, Kerol and myself went to JJ Aeon AU2 and had lunch at Madams Lim.. I even ordered ribena longan and bought the Big Apple donut too.. :)

2 pm – After had my big feast, Kerol dropped me off at Naluri for he needed to send ibu back home and prepared air selusuh for me.. I requested for a single-bedded room, and thank God there’s one available. Made deposit payment and was sent to the treatment room right away. I was put on the CTG machine for as forever as I can remember. Huhu.. One thing for sure, baby’s heartbeat was ok and normal.. in the range of 160 – 170.

11 pm – Gynae came and did the checking on me. I was still 1 cm dilated (!!!!) and there was no strong contraction yet. Baby’s heartbeat was ok but still, he’s not as active as he normally is. Gynae was worried that baby has started to swallow his own stool or that my waterbag has been contaminated, she decided to break my waterbag. It was another painful procedure (on top of checking the opening) !! :( By this time, I’ve been having a lot of visits already from families and relatives. But they all had to go by 10.30pm. Only Kerol and I were left alone.

12 midnight – I started to feel contraction that came together with a slight pain. Kerol cannot wait together with me because I was put at the treatment room, where one bed was only separated from another by a curtain. So, neither visitor nor husband was allowed to be in. Kerol waited for me at our room.

Friday, 5 February 2010.
1 am – Strong contractions started to come and go within the span of 10 - 15 minutes. And every time I moved to ease the pain, waterbag and blood kept on coming out of me. I felt so so uncomfortable. I called in the nurse, I said I wanted Kerol to be with me. The pain seems to be too unbearable when I was left alone. Nurse said, husband can be with me, but I had to be put in the labor room already. I said, whatever it takes, I wanted my husband by all means.

2 am – I was in the labor room with Kerol sitting next to me. Contractions kept on coming more frequent, that time with stronger pain. Too strong and intense I couldn’t describe with words how painful it was. But I guess when they said “sakit nak bersalin ni macam bertarung antara hidup dan mati”, I’ll just have to agree with it. And what frustrated me more, my opening didn’t move much, I was only 1.5 cm dilated!

3 am – By this time, I was already at the point of giving up. Contractions came within 2 - 3 mins and my opening was only 3 cm. Whatever I recited and prayed, whatever Kerol said, or did, or asked me to recite and pray.. didn’t make the pain felt any lesser. Well maybe it did, but to the least extent. Kerol told that I was screaming like nobody’s business the entire floor could hear me, and that he was even beaten up and scolded by me… (huhu.. sorry sayang!).. I even said things like, “Please take out the baby out of me..!”.. “I want to go through c-sec now!”… “Dah tak tahan dah niiii.. Tak boleh ke buatkan opening tu jadi 10cm skarang jugak!” etc.

4am – Still, my opening didn’t move much. I think around this time I was only 4cm dilated. Contractions kept on coming and pain was at its peak. I screamed and recited all the Al-Quran verses that I can remember but the pain didn’t go away. Kerol said I kept on pulling my hair.. and my body was meleding menahan sakit. He wanted to help me so much but it seems like he couldn’t do much.. He kept on guiding me on what to recite, suruh mengucap and such, and said all the nicest words he could say. To come to think of it, I am SO thankful I have such a wonderful husband like him to be by my side during such a trying time. He was basically with me all night long doing the best he could do to take the pain away from me....

5am – I was still 4cm dilated. I cannot take it anymore, I asked the nurse for pethidine, but they didn’t allow me coz scared it will affect the baby since my waterbag level was reducing. I asked for the ethonox gas, but to my disappointment, Naluri didn’t have one! So one final option, I asked permission from Kerol, can I have the epidural… because initially we both agreed that I wont take that procedure. Looking at how suffer I was, Kerol agreed right away. But we had to wait until 8am for the doctor to come and perform the epidural on me. Kerol performed his Subuh prayer in the labor room itself as I didn’t want him to be out of my sight even a second. I could hear him praying for a smooth labor process for me.. and for me to be forgiven for all the sins I’ve committed.. Words cannot describe how touching the moment was.

8am – The doctor finally came to give me the epidural. By this time, it seems like whatever procedures performed on me was bearable as compared to the contraction pain. The checking of my opening ke.. The epidural procedure ke.. Semua tak rasa sakit dah.. I was like menyerah diri je untuk diperlakukan ape2 procedure. Oh and I was only 5 cm dilated by this time. One thing I would like to take note was how nice the nurse towards me… She kept on saying nice things like what to recite and words like "sabar ye sayang.. sikittt je lagi…”.. And I felt sad that she was about to end her shift… I remembered asking her not to go yet and to continue to extent her shift, but of course she couldn’t do that just for me.

8.30 am – The epidural seems to work wonders on me! :) Seriously, I managed to smile finally and talk to Kerol while waiting for my opening to fully dilate to 10cm. I felt nothing from waist below even though the CTG machine shows that I was having strong contractions within the span of 2 - 3 minutes. I prayed hard for my opening to fully dilate as soon as possible. I took a look at Kerol, he was as tired as me.. Poor my love, he had to go through the whole process with me. By this time, I remembered having a thought, how can they said only women had to go through the hard time when it comes to pregnancy and giving birth. My beloved Kerol practically had to bear with me for the past 38 weeks, and during this labor process too. Immediately I felt guilty for kept on asking for i-phone once I’ve delivered as a ‘reward’. I felt that there’s no such thing as reward for carrying his child, he was involved in the whole process entirely. If there’s one reward, it will be the newborn baby… for both of us…

12.45pm – Finally, the moment has come. I was told that I was already 10cm dilated! SO happy!!!!! Then came in the nurse teaching me how to breathe and push. She wanted me to push the baby’s head until it can be seen from the outside, then only she will call the gynae. Kerol helped me to make sure that my chin stick to my chest when I did the pushing. I thought I was doing good, and so the nurse said. Baby’s hair can be seen from outside already.

1pm – Came in my gynae.. and so did the real deal. The pushing was not as easy as I’ve practiced earlier. This was the thing about taking epidural, you felt nothing! Well, ada la rasa.. tapi sikitttt sangat. I thought I’ve pushed hard enough, but I was wrong. Everyone kept on asking me to hold my breath and push harder, but from their voices I guessed I didn’t push that hard. Coz I didn’t feel a thing! I didn’t feel the contraction so I didn’t know when to push and when to hold my breath. So there was I, playing the pushing and breathing game and for what seems to be within 10mins or so… I felt something coming out of me and there, a newborn baby boy was put on my tummy, crying his lung out loud.. He was then taken away to be washed up, and I looked at Kerol in disbelief, in mixed emotions, and kept on saying in tears, “hah.. dah sudah dah? baby kita dah lahir dah? Omg I did it??”.. and Kerol, being as adorable as he always is, looked into my eyes so deeply while usap-ing and kissing my forehead few times and kept on saying “ye sayang.. its over now.. you’re doing great.. I’m so proud of you..”… :')

1.16pm – and so that was the story, our precious baby boy named Kh@yr Elymr@n was safely born on Friday, 5 February 2010 at 1.16pm….(20 Safar 1431H). After Kerol recited the azan and iqamat to him, he passed baby Khayr to me.. and I felt these amazing feelings in me, embracing the miracle of Allah SWT with His creation.. I remembered looking into Khayr’s eyes and felt, Ya Allah.. this is the human being I was carrying around for the past 38 weeks in my tummy.. and here he is, finally in my arms.. Syukur sangat2...

Oh ye, it was later only I learnt that I had to be vacuum assisted… :( I felt so guilty towards Khayr for not being able to push him out hard enough.. But then again, Kerol comforted me by saying, its all done now, yang penting both baby and me are fine..

In terms of name, we decided to name our baby as ‘Khayr’ which means sebaik-baik… and during my pregnancy, I fell in love with this surah in Al-Quran called ‘Ali-Imran’.. So I twisted it a bit to be Elymr@n in the pursue of wanting to have our baby’s name to start with E to follow my second name ‘Edlina’… coz the first one is already following Kerol’s. So yeah Elymr@n it is. I know Elymr@n has no specific meaning, but I’m sure (and will make sure that) people wont call him Ely or Elym.. With Elymr@n, the ‘Imran’ part stands out more.. so yeah, Imran means budi bahasa.

Both Kerol and I are hoping our godsend son will be both baik and berbudi bahasa throughout his life here and thereafter… InsyaAllah…

So there, my first ever giving birth experience……. a wonderful experience I've never thought I will go through in life, and therefore will be treasured and cherished so much... :')

23 comments:

  1. lilia dearie,

    To hear about your stories make me wonder maybe itu yang mak saya lalui utk melahirkan saya ke dunia. I'm so touched and realized that mmg be tul la pengorbanan ibu memang besar.

    and for you my friend, congaratulation again & hopefully you always be sabar & bersyukur dengan kurniaan Allah ini. I'm sure you always did!

    do take care & banyak2 berehat.

    p/s: kita plak rasa tak sabar nak rasai pengalaman ini plak!!! hehehehe

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  2. you made me cry in the office okay! naughty lilia.. hehehe..

    anyway, am so happy for both of u... i know how it feels like the first time u get to see ur baby.. PRICELESS! :)

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  3. apsal baca cerita lebih emosi dari dengar dari mulut kau? u expressed it very well in writing.
    uh, terasa nak menitik air mata aku. :) (i wished to go thru this eperience so much dulu :|)

    mak pong vangga dengan kau yg dah lama kenal kau ni .. =)

    tapi mak lebih kagum sebab kau sempat merembat big apple sebelum beranak (dushhh, sempat lg tu). haha!

    congratulations again :)

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  4. huhu..i cried too..

    wat a wonderful experience kan..yeah, i agreed, without hubby support, we can't go thru it that smoothly kan, they really helps a lot!

    wpun, aku bersalinkan my bb yg cuma 600g, but the contraction pain..mmg tak bleh nak cakap la sakitnya.waktu tuh rasa cam..no more!but bila bb dah kluar, rasa sakit tadi tuh dah lupa!macam eh, sakit ke tadi..

    such a great experience being a mother kan :)

    -irna-

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  5. experience kite sgt sama! cuma aku lmbt mintak epidural, so xdpt epidural..and aku terpaksa rasa smua sakit sehingga ke akhirnya!

    the screaming part and ckp mengarut2 tu pon sama dgn aku..aku cam senyum2 baca part tu sbb teringat aku pon sama..haha

    and terharu kan sbb husband sanggup tunggu sebelah kite..sanggup kena pukul & dgr kite mengarut bkn2..and aku cam emosi sket part yg kerol solat & doa dlm labor room..touched!

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  6. Lia..

    Nicely written experience! Air mata dah start bergenang tau, nasib baik baca kat dalam lab, kalau kat rumah dah mengalir air mata kot. Anyway, glad both you and baby are safe.

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  7. hoh. Macamtu ke sakit nak bersalin? tiba2 aku ngeri.

    masa aku miscarriage bb aku yg 1st tu, smpat la merasa contraction. tapi mak aku ckp itu baru berapa percent. bersalin adalah berkali ganda dari tu. tu pun aku dah rasa mcm separuh nak mati.

    apa2 pun semuanya dh slmt kan? skg enjoy being a mommy..

    take care.

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  8. sedih baca ur entry this time..my turn will come very soon..hope i'm just as strong as you..u expressed it very well in words that I almost cry..

    anyhow..good that everything is in line rite now..n khayr pun dah getting better..all the best to u..

    -shim-

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  9. Lia, it really reminds me of my giving birth experience...and I cried too...I guess that mother's instint...tak percaya kan bila 1st time having baby in our arms and kuasa tuhan , kita bawak dier for 9 months and the process that we have to go through....finally...

    He have such a beautiful name and can't wait to see his pic. Tapi takpe Lia, when the time comes, insya allah will see him face to face.

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  10. an eye opening experience indeed..must let all the to be mothers read haha so got to think twice!

    anyways nice to know you r all safe and sound, pics of baby next!

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  11. lia...u remind me on the day Maya was born..rasa nak nangis! eventhough my 4 hours labour pain was nothing compared to yours yg berjam2 lamanya kan..u did it! and i am proud of u too:)Should be thankful to Allah for letting us experienced this superwonderful moments giving birth to our lil precious..tatau nak describe how blessed and amazed for being able to went thru everything kan? and also thanks to our dear hubby for their greatest love and patient being on our side..sharing all the pain we had..fahmie pun sampai sakit2 tangan, punyala kuat aku genggam tangan die haha! agreed with u, men had to go thru the same, not just us. so dear,i wish u both new daddy and mummy the best of all, and ur lil khayr jadi anak yang soleh amin.:)

    p/s: tak sabar nak tgk baby khayr yg skrg..nnt kitorg dtg visit lagi k..owh ya, i still owe u that one!;p

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  12. it's like watching a movie.. :)
    hope time goes fast for you laling!!

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  13. *gulp*

    hope you are recovering beautifully!!! xoxo to baby khayr

    dayana :)

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  14. cam baca novel,very touching.from writing pn blh imagine ur situation.
    blh buat reference nie

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  15. Lilia,

    First of all..congratulations!! I think I commented on your previous post to congratulate you..but the comment didn't get thru (some technical prob. i guess)

    Apepun...ur experience is very well translated in writing (so expressive)..seronok bace (seram pun ade gak)Even my sister pun tak cerite sedetail ni experience dia giving birth dulu..

    CHope to see baby Khayr soon :)

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  16. Liliaa...tiba2 akak pulak nervous tauu.haha..

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  17. lia, im so touching ble bace blog entry dis time.. aku yg dah 2 kali beranak pun leh nangis2 dpn laptop nih ble bc experience ko..what ever it is,congratulations to both of u, jg baby elok2 yek..

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  18. U made me cry :(
    Rasa takut plak bila memikirkan i need to go through this experience in less than 2 months!!!
    Anyway, take care....:)

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  19. seriously lia..u are gud at writing..even aku dah denga cite ni dr mulut ko harituh..tp bile bace lg ngeri n touching la...u wrote it so detail..terbayang kat kepala aku every moment that u had gone thru in that labour room..plus gambar perut ko yg senget lps doc pecah air ketuban..huhuhu..mmg la..im so proud of u....Alhamdulillah most of us married with a wonderful husband..who alwiz there whenever we need them..aku bergenang siut baca part kerol solat n prayed for u..mcm drama pulak hehehe...

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  20. hey!!

    heartiest congratulations to you!

    your boss seconded to washington eh? :)

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  21. Lia, aku baca lagi this post as reference..maklumla, sedang menghitung hari..guess wat?aku still menitiskan air mata membacanya..wpun,before this dah pernah baca..bila baca pengalaman org bersalin, rasa macam kagum, everyone, dapat go thru it dgn jayanya..doakan aku dapat melahirkan dgn selamat ye..:)-irna-

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  22. WOW, makes me want to have a baby now.
    Mashallah, thank you for sharing your wonderful experience!

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  23. veils and roses, thanks dear! it was indeed an amazing experience a woman could have. i wish that you will go through it one day, insyaAllah :)

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