Friday, 21 November 2008

The one with... my gloomy Friday..

This is gonna be very long-winded. Very.

Despite the busy working schedule, I cannot help it but to come out with this one entry.. I SO need a venue to vent this one thing out of my chest.. I guess until I reach to the point where I am done deal with this one thing, I promise I will stop using the word ‘stress’ very loosely ok? And the exclamation mark too, I will stop using it like nobody’s business..

So that’s that, and as for now…

Oh yeah I am so damn stressssss !!!!!!

Lo and behold, yes it’s about my upcoming wedding.. sheessssh.

I cannot proceed with the other preps just because the date cannot be confirmed as yet!

You see, before the engagement both families have agreed on the date already. Hence, both Kerol and I have carried on with the booking of dewan. Ok, I’ve never have had in mind what kind of wedding I would love to have, but when it comes to the location, I do have one place in particular. In fact, God knows for whatever reasons, I’ve set that in mind since way back in 2005 when I attended my high school seniors’ wedding, whom the groom happened to be my friend’s brother and the bride happened to be my block mate once upon a time. Oh well, it’s nowhere fancy, it’s just this dewan of which I can rent for a wedding reception at a rate much lower than the market, on the expense of my dad being an ex-army. I’m not gonna be specific, am sure you can go figure!

So, I guess being an ex-army really means nothing to them; they treated by dad just like the other normal civilians. Oh wait, perhaps the stupid hierarchy system they practise!!! (I know a lot of my friends are of the army’s kids, am sorry guys.. I may sound as if I’m generalizing them, but.. heck please, just let me have my moment ya? Thanks.)

First thing first, ok fine, they have confirmed our booking. We were happy, we finally have a date for our W day so we proceed with the other wedding preps -- I’ve booked the photographer, and the make-up artist too.. (OK so what if I want to start with the preps this early?).. And another major thing was, Kerol’s side has booked a dewan too, by using the earlier confirmed date of ours, as a base.

All these bookings, wont happen, if I wasn’t being confirmed on the dewan (hence the date) in the first place kan? kan? kan???!!

So one fine day, Kerol called the officer in charge to arrange for a meet up, we want to see see look look the inside of the dewan.. You know just to get a grasp of how to come out with the theme, deco, arrangement of main table so on and so forth.

And that’s when, just like as if it’s not a big deal, the officer told Kerol off, saying that there will be an internal function on the supposedly my W day, so they need to use the dewan.


I mean, ok FINE. It’s their dewan and they can use it for their own event.

But please la have some courtesy, you’ve issued a letter of confirmation and then kill the excitement of the innocent people just like that?! Stress nye!!! Why the heck you didn’t check the calendar of event at the time you considered and hence, confirmed our booking? And really, if suddenly there’s an event to be held on my supposedly W day, why the freaking heck you didn’t call us to inform? What if Kerol didn’t call on that day? Perhaps we would have been happily distributing our wedding invitation cards then only you will call to say it has to be cancelled???! (Sounds dramatic, but I am trying to make a point here.)

I swear the moment I heard how they told Kerol about the cancellation, I hope that if that officer has a daughter, she will be equally ‘punished’ when she’s getting married and in the process of booking a place for wedding reception too. *kilat sabung menyabung* (tanda marah)… Hey I am no angel ok. Spare me some slack.

So that’s when and how my stress days started. Hari2 berlalu penuh dengan stress.. (ayat poyo I know). What’s more with the crazy workloads, sigh I just cannot afford to receive this kind of ‘surprises’.. And you know, the remarks you get when you tell your family -- “Hah, dewan kena cancel? Itu laaa.. Patutnye book dewan lain jugak as a back-up..” “Abis tu macamana?” “Alaaa dah bagitau kawan / sedara...”

Arghhh all these responses are just damn depressing!

And you’d be surprised true enough around KL, you'll need to book the dewan as soon as 6 months ahead.. Because apparently that’s the difficulty I’m facing now -- to find the other dewan as alternative to make sure I can stick to the original date..

My dad, on the other hand, doesn’t want to give up. He said perhaps now they have their 2009 calendar of event, they will be more certain when giving their consent regarding the usage of their dewan.

Fine, beggars shouldn’t be chosers, I agreed.

Dad said the officer has agreed to meet today at 10am, for us to send in another letter to book for another date. I insisted to follow my dad this time around (previously my dad went alone). Knowing for a fact that I will go MIA (that’s missing-in-action) first thing today for that respect, I worked till as late as 4am yesterday (!!!) to make sure I finish up the portion of my work today.

And today we reached there at 10.15am. Lack of sleep and still pissed with the cancelation, I was already all moody.

Guess what, not only the officer didn’t turn up on time as promised (Huh I thought army supposed to be all disciplined and whatnot??!!) but he actually has got a meeting to attend (then why the heck gave us the promise in the first place??!).. You know what time we waited until? 1pm ok! 3 freaking hours!!!

And the officer was not being courteous at all, he didn’t say sorry (you wish!) and all he did was just signing off the letter without giving much assurance and comfort to the already losing-faith me, and buzz off for his Friday prayer. And I must say, (too bad) he'd given me the impression that he is being very very rude. And there we were, left just like that. As if we were little kids who can quickly be happy after being bribed with the stupid colorful candy.

Benci ok!!!

I didn’t manage to even ask him how sure he is with this new date, is it still subject to changes?!

On the way back, I was already at the point of breaking down, grumbling how I wish I can scold the officer yadda yadda yadda..

And yet what did my dad say? He said, I was just being emotional. And he gave me few words of advice, that he didn’t want me to become like the once-upon-a-time him -- bad-tempered.

I tell you, not that I didn’t appreciate his effort to arrange this for me, but the way he talked to me was like adding fuel to the fire. I was already so purple with rage and upset with what happened and how we had to wait for the officer and how he treated us, and yet my dad can say that I was being bad-tempered???!


I was just being… a human.

Salah ke untuk rasa marah after what had happened?

Salah ke untuk rasa marah after being treated the way the officer did to us?

Salah ke untuk rasa marah over how the one decision made by the officer (which can be dealt with better if that officer was being more particular with his decision) can affect the decision of the many others?

I felt so so so hopeless.. This is like so burdensome. Especially both Kerol and I have to do all this from A to Z, all by ourselves. If something like this happened, it is us who have to bear the consequences and feel the heat.. All the others can say is, “Abis tu macamana?”.


I am just so sad you see, why is this happening to us… enough said.

Ok maybe I am just being negative now, I hope I can see all this from a different light come tomorrow.

Till later, enjoy your weekend!

p.s. Just to share, using their dewan can actually be very risky. Before we left the officer's room just now, one of the staff there told me that there was this one time, a couple's booking was cancelled just like that one month before the actual wedding took place!! And yes at that point, the wedding cards have been distributed around! Reason given to them? Well somebody wanted to have his son's event to be held there on that day. Can you imagine??? Not sure how true, but I am not surprised if it did happen... Scary!!! Oh well, unless of course if your parents are somebody, I think then you don't have anything to be worried. As for now, I'm giving up on that dewan despite being confirmed this morning.. I want to opt for other dewan and I don't mind having to pay extra just as long as I am given the very much certainty needed. So that I can proceed with the other tasks with a peaceful mind.... Till then, I can't confirm my W day yet.. Wish us luck!

p.s.2 I think this is my first ever entry without a smiley icon, yes?


  1. sabar mmg camtu, x best!!!

  2. Hi Lilia, booking a dewan is not easy u know. Just to share with u, last time we want to book dewan masjid wilayah. We cant book atleast 3 mths b4 the wedding date + they may cancel 1 mth b4 if their people need to use the hall. So risky heh? Being a risk adverse person, we decide to search for other hall. I soo want to held my event at Dewan X but the date yang we nak is fully booked. So upset, my aunty carikan dewan in Shah Alam. Tanak! nak Dewan X tu jugak. After asking for so many dates, akhirnya dapat jugak tempah dewan X tu. Cuma, have to postpone tarikh kahwin. Nak buat macam mana kan? but actually still ada benda x puas hati. The orang dewan is SO kerek. Tanya lebih2 mcm tanak layan. Macam la dia bagus sangat, keje jaga dewan jer. Anyway, my point is i understand what u r experiencing at the moment. Just bersabar and remember untuk setiap yang berlaku ada hikmahnya. Enjoy your wedding preps! :)

  3. Hi Lilia,

    i'm ur silent rider. But today, after meet u at Hana& Acap wedding make me feel to give a comment in ur blog.

    Bersabar ye..geram plak dgr story u..anyway, stay cool, relaks don't stress, berdoa byk22. Hopefully ur majlis will run smoothly

    Lastly nice to meet u..seronoknya

  4. hi kak lilia, i'm ur silent reader as well. Juz harap kak lilia banyak2 bersabar cos beberapa bulan seblom W day memang byk cabaran n dugaan. Like my wedding, 2 weeks before W day, we've got into a big fight just becos mak andam takmo dtg umah untuk mekap, dia insist kitorg gi kedai dia. Byk lagi menda2 lain yg membuatkan rasa cam tetiba malas nak kawen. Tp, be strong n banyak doa keh!! May Allah make it easier to u n kerol.


  5. lia, saba ye. nak kawen mmg byk dugaan ..
    try carik dewan lain, or else any other date ..

    dulu time aku, mak andam suruh confirm dewan dulu, baru kompem date dgn dia .. so on top of the list is dewan+date. cuti skolah lg 1 problem, sbb ramai sgt buat wedding ..

    jgn stress2 ok. dah kawen nnt senyum sampai belakang kepala punye.

  6. papa mmg mcm tu.saba je la.
    tak salah ko nak marah pun.mcm aku la.
    tapi aku rase lelaki mmg mcm tu.
    pasal cik siti aku tu pun...faiz marah aku nape nak kene marah pasal kete.
    nak muntah je rase.

  7. oh lia..
    i understand what u've gone thru..
    coz aku pun sama!!
    and lastly terpaksa amek tempat mahal sbb aku puas hati..
    sabar je lar..
    aku rasa baik ko carik tempat lain coz tempat tu sgt risky..
    takut nyer dgr cite ada couple yg tau the booking is cancelled a month b4 the day..OMG!
    whateva it is, sabar byk2 & doa byk2 everything will go smoothly as planned..nak kawen mmg byk dugaan..makin dekat makin byk benda yang akan buat ko rasa nak marah, nak mengamuk & nak bakar muka org!(aku bkn nak takut kan ko, cuma nak ko ready)
    so, enjoy doing your wedding preps!