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Wednesday, 30 July 2008

The one with.. confession of a broken heart.

[Note: This is the vulnerable me writing]

I reckon this gonna be a bit teenage-ish..

But heck this song by Lindsay Lohan kinda helps me to feel at least a bit better whenever I come across a situation of this sort. Well, just because it’s kinda says it some, if not all…

I wait for the postman to bring me a letter
And I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better
And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders
Family in crisis that only grows older
Why'd you have to go?
Why'd you have to go?
Why'd you have to go?

Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am broken, but I am hoping
Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am crying, a part of me's dying
And these are, these are the confessions of a broken heart

I wear all your old clothes the old polo sweater
I dream of another you, one who would never
Never leave me alone to pick up the pieces
Daddy to hold me, that's what I needed
So why'd you have to go?
Why'd you have to go?
Why'd you have to go?

Daughter to father, daughter to father
I don't know you, but I still want to
Daughter to father, daughter to father
Tell me the truth, did you ever love me?
'Cause these are, these are the confessions of a broken heart
Of a broken heart

I love you
I love you
I love you
I, I love you

Daughter to father, daughter to father
I don't know you, but I still want to
Daughter to father, daughter to father
Tell me the truth, did you ever love me?
Did you ever love me?
These are the confessions of a broken heart

Things got bottled up, so yeah I had a fight with me daddy yesterday.. :(

And now I am filled with all the guilt in the world.. SiGh. I know there are reasons why I am fated to be the eldest in the family but every now and then I can’t seem to find the right strength I should have. Especially given the situation.

Oh well, as always this phase shall pass and I hope it will, THE SOONEST POSSIBLE.

[It’s funny when you are actually surrounded by the love of friends and family around you, and yet things do not always reciprocated the way you thought it should.. leaving you to feel.. ironically.. alone.]

This shall pass soon. This shall pass soon. This shall pass soon....

8 comments:

  1. i wasn't there but i heard a bit.
    mind to share wit me later?
    lepaking sumwere?

    but well, honestly, i don't think that debate will make any different..i mean it won't change anything on his side...same as previous cases aiite?

    anyway, let's hope for a miracle to happen otherwise mcm hopeless gila kan?

    don't feel guilty or what..

    hey u R the eldest and always be our(me,mama,liana & ajim) good listener, great caretaker in the family and loyal sharer of everything in the house....and you r the most confiest comforter though!
    Walaupun ko garang

    Love ya sis =)

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  2. only the strong one can be the eldest. trust me on that. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sis,

    thanks, you made me all teary!! i'm SO touched. seriously.

    anyway aku tkde mood lagi la nak cite. kat mama pun aku ckp aku tkde mood nk cite. whenever am ready k?

    again, thanks...

    love ya too! xoxo.

    Alan,

    i sure hope you are right! siGh. rase macam lelaki je yang leh jadi eldest....

    anyway, thanks for the words of comfort.

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  4. babe,

    fights with parents are normal okk.. and naturally, we the eldest ones experience most of the bad bits because our parents hv higher expectations for us..

    but babe, from my point of view, u are one hell of a great daughter/sister.. you are responsible, kind and thoughtful.. and how i wish i can be like you..

    cheer up ok? anything, jom starbucks! hehe..

    love ya!

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  5. Tina,

    Hmmm my family's case is different, so the fight was rather fugly.. siGh.

    Anyway, I'm over with it already..

    Thanks for the words of comfort. Your comment too made me all teary. Huhu.

    And babe, you are one heck of a great daughter/sister too! :) cheers to the eldest us!!!

    Anything I know you are a phone call away, so I sure do know how to reach you ok. But for now, you better focus on the more important event -- you BIG day!! =)

    love ya too! xoxoxo.

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  6. Babe,

    I really understand how u feel.I pung eldest gak. Gaduh ngan parents tuh biasa.

    In fact, the eldest are known or on fact famous for being outspoken and such, so that's why gaduh tuh normal.

    Cheer up okay, nie kes anak-beranak, lama-lama reda lah tuh.

    Sabar kay.

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  7. ok since every console u d..i got nothing more to add haha..

    it happens..but im sure he doesnt mean it..as long as u did nothing wrong also..then no point feeling guilty rite?

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  8. Zie,

    Thanks for the words of comfort. But trust me. As I've mentioned in my comment to Tina, my family's case is not a normaly family's case. So it's fugly. And nothing close to biasa.. (+_~)

    Anyway, am all good now! ;)

    Joe,

    Yeah everyone doesnt mean to hurt the others.....

    ReplyDelete