Wednesday, 30 January 2008
Monday, 21 January 2008
Sunday, 20 January 2008
Love life is good.
Family’s affair is good.
Friends bonding are good too.
It’s the mad mad office rush. It’s too hectic. Too many things. So much so I feel like I cannot cope up with it. I’m tired of having to prove my worth. I mean, can’t I just be myself? That’s my worth to begin with. I hate the fact that I tend to get easily affected by what people say. I tend to care too much on people's perceptions towards me. Sigh...
The only mantra that keeps me grounded now is – What’s the worst can happen? It’s not like they’re going to fire me aite?? RRRRIGHT??
Things were ok in the earlier years, but as time goes by, the freaking expectation rises too. It's like the bosses are on the loose or something, chasing us to put in more effort to make sure the business keeps on growing. Last week was ended with the big boss announcing that my department will be merged with another department. I hope that's going to do good to us the employees.
Hmm, PM announced that KL will have a day off for Thaipussam. I suppose that's a very good news to me... But actually it's hard to say... Everytime I'm all geared up to a full swing working mode, I will have to make a stop when I'm not even at the gear 3. Aduiiiii la. Gimana sih mau kerja dengan produktif... *poyo-ness alert* Ape2 pun, heck now that's something to look forward to! Wee hoo~! \(^_^)/
I miss high school days.
[pictures taken yesterday at Chillis Kerol Lilia City Centre (that's KLCC :P); with Alin, Dayana, Tina & Abby].
OoooOoo mojo where are youuuuuuuuu........
Friday, 18 January 2008
Memikirkan tak ada kerja..
Dalam anggun pilu ditohmah..
Ah gantung dirimu saja..
Ooo, lega rasanya….
Jadi kerja pegawai pemasaran..
Rupa oh rupa2 nya…
La la la la...
Hari hari kerja..
La la la la..
Bosan dengan kerja hah hah..
La la la la...
Hidup harus kerja… kerjaaaaa…!!
Tak puas lagi beradu…mengantuk~…
Subuh hingga senja…
Hari hari sama saja…!
Ahh..nak bancuh kopi..
Tapi gulanya tak ada…
Kerja bagai nak gila..
[Repeat chorus 2x]
Mengenangkan masa depan…
Ku harus kerja..
Ohhh mesti kerja...
Tiada ada apa yg percuma…
Jika tiada kerja..
Ohhh, papa kedana…!!
[the perfect song for now (except that I've never worked in Pertama before, mind you) by Meet bapak Tina si Uncle Hussain :P)
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Anyway, as I'm typing this piece, I think I'm ready to go back to my normal life.. As for a start, I will be coming back to office tomorrow *yawn* - that's very normal.
Hmm, following to my last entry... one significant incident happened in my life - the death of my beloved atuk... :'( I'm all ok now, well at least at this moment. But every time just before I close my eyes to go to sleep, those few final moment I had with him will flash before my eyes, so fresh in my mind... Sad, but I know I have to be positive.. He was suffering, and now his pain has ended.. He passed away on Sunday at 4.50pm in his bed at HKL, and was safely burried on Monday at 12 noon, next to my late grandma's grave at Lukut, Negeri Sembilan..
Thanks to those thoughtful smses & calls, I really appreciate it..
Hmm, ok lah.. I kinda still in the mode of getting the hang of what I normally do. So, I guess this should suffice, for now.
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
On atuk, things have been the same since yesterday.. He was warded, but his condition didn’t get any better.. And still, the doctors couldn’t do much.. They kept on asking the same questions to my mom again, and again, and again….
“Pakcik mula2 masa dapat cancer, doktor yang rawat time tu cakap ape?”
“Dia memang selalu mengerang ke? Dia ada bagitau tak sakit kat mane?”
“Selain bleeding, dia ada muntah2 tak?”
Yadda yadda yadda…
I mean, I understand nothing mega can be done, it’s not like am asking for a miracle to happen. I am all realistic with atuk’s condition. But can’t these doctors have a centralised data about each patient? Ni tidak, every different doctor coming over to atuk’s bed will ask the same freaking questions to my mom. I pitied my mom having to explain the same thing over and over again.. *sigh* Bukan nak cakap ape, but these doctors look so young, are they on training on what? One of them is my junior from Taiping and that means she’s only, what.., 25 this year? Hmm, tau laaa my atuk is a hopeless case, but takkan la nak kena jadi guinea pig for the-just-graduated young doctors kan....
OMG, please excuse me. I don’t mean to underrate them…. I’m sure they won’t be a doctor for nothing… I'm just... so wanting to see atuk stops being in such an agonising state, you know..
I hope atuk will have his opportunity ‘to go’ in peace… I cannot stand it seeing him to suffer any longer.. Not that I want him ‘to go’ as soon or what, but… you just have to know what I mean.
On another opportunity-related note. My friend is organising a 10 days trip to both London & Paris in this coming early February, with a total cost has been estimated to be in a region RM5k only covering the flight tix, airport tax, travelling costs within places, accomodation, food and entrance fees to few interesting tourist must-to-go places. It’s the flight tix that has been saved on a lot, for her father is working with MAS and somehow the father is entitled to get a cheaper price for the flight tix. An opportunity not to be missed!!!, I would say. And so would the others.
RM5k is a lot too, for someone who’s saving for something else. Who am I kidding, I want so much to go to London & Paris!! But I cannot afford having my budget for that something else affected by that RM5k at the same time too. *isk* The friend asked me to revise the trip budget, to exclude and cut down the 'unnecessaries' such as the entrance fees to some of the places. But, how to enjoy a holiday when you know the rest of the bunch wont mind having to splurge when you yourself on the other hand have to be on a tight budget aite?? Some more it’s gonna be winter, so I know as much as I can borrow winter clothes from others, I would still have to put aside an extra budget for that. And perhaps for some other travelling-related must haves too. Ngeeeeeee!!!
Guess it’s all down to ‘we cannot have it all’ hah?
To Oya… I’m wishing it to happen too, on behalf of you guys! :)
Hmm esok cuti.. but I have no plans yet.. Kerol is going to PD for his high school reunion, and will come back only on Friday. So I guess I will take the opportunity to spend time with atuk and my mom at the hospital...
One thing for sure, I can't wait for TARA tomorrow night!! :)
Till next time.. CiAo~!
Tuesday, 8 January 2008
Well, not that I want to announce to the whole world, but a fact is a fact. I couldn't locate any previous entries I’ve done re atuk’s condition. So the first statement I just made should serve as a quick introduction before I continue typing the rest.
Atuk has been staying with my family for quite a while already and his condition is getting worsen with each passing day. His tummy is growing bigger and its becoming more hardened now. And due to the failure of some of his internal organs’ functions, there are lumps coming out on his skin all over his body. The doctors predicted then that atuk wont last for long, but atuk is quite strong. It has been almost half a year now. True enough, ajal maut di tangan Tuhan.
I do not type this to exaggerate things nor I want to embarrass him. But his condition was such an eye opener to me, in the sense that things are not easy when it comes to matters like this. And how a cancer can really affect its ‘victim’. Every time I saw how my mom nurses atuk, I couldn’t help it from wondering would I be able to do the same when it comes to my dad later. Whatever it is, I guess my mom is right, when the time comes, you’ll know just how and what to do. How I admire my mom’s great level of strength and patient....
I woke up this morning as early as 6.30 am to the loud and non-stop knockings on bedroom door. Everything was a bit blur at first but I could guess it must have been something to do with atuk. My sister Erin came out seconds later, asking me what’s happening. I told him mom asked us to put on proper attire since there are neighbours downstairs. As I was done, I went down and to my shock; atuk was all bleeding in his room. The mattress and pillow were already drenched with blood, and there were even traces of bloodstains on the sidewall and also blood clogs on the bed. Atuk was there lying, not moving at all but he was still breathing - much to my relieved.
I was so panic I didn’t know what to do initially. Same goes to my mom and Erin I guess. But luckily we had one neighbour working as a doctor, and another one working as a nurse. They somehow helped us to manage the situation quite well. Apparently, ‘something’ inside my atuk must have ‘burst’, hence the ever-flowing blood coming out through his private part. The men stood in the room reciting Yassin, while the women helped with the cleaning of atuk. At about 45 minutes later, an ambulance came to bring atuk to the hospital. Erin went with mom to be in the ambulance, while I stayed at home to do the necessary. After thanking my neighbours who dropped by to lend their helping hands, I went inside the house.
With the help of one neighbour, i.e. the mother of one of the kids my mom used to baby-sit last time, we cleaned the mattress, the pillow, towels, etc etc etc. I washed the mattress outside, in front of my house while my neighbour washed the clothes and everything in the toilet. Those needs to be brushed off for few times as bloodstains are not easy to be cleaned. We used gloves and facemasks while doing all that because the smell was so strong and the blood was quite thick. The neighbour went back home at about 10am, and told me not to hesitate to call her in case of need. I nodded my head and went back inside the house, and continued with the cleaning. I brushed the wall, and then mopped the floor in the bedroom and the areas outside. I had to do that twice to make sure the smell really gone.
Meanwhile, mom called me from the hospital telling that atuk was in the emergency room, so she didn’t know any status just yet. And Kerol dropped by my house to pass me food for breakfast. To tell you the truth, I was a bit hungry but didn’t have appetite to eat. Bukan saja2 nak rasa loya or what, but if you experienced just how I did, I’m sure you’ll understand. It took me a while before I regained my appetite.
Anyway, I just got back from hospital at about 9pm just now. I was there since 2pm with mom and Erin, and Kerol joined us at about 4.30pm. Somehow according to the doctors, they couldn’t detect the source of the bleeding. It’s like to them, atuk’s condition now is nothing close to what we’ve described to them what happened this morning. Sigh. Susah kan. Those who witnessed how things were this morning would have understood why we were worried sick about atuk’s condition. And as always, we will get either, “Kami memang tak boleh nak buat apa2 dah skarang sebab cancer pakcik dah final stage” or “We will keep on observing. If nothing happens within 24 hours, you can bring him back home”….
Whatever it is, we leave everything to Allah for He knows what’s best for atuk.. Atuk is a bit stable in HKL for now, but once in a while he'll scream in pain... I was all prepared to be strong, but I cannot take it everytime I saw my mom cried... :'(
I’ll be on EL still tomorrow. Praying for atuk’s safety…. Amin.
Sunday, 6 January 2008
Anyway, on the fun side of life... I had a very great weekend. Yesterday, I just lazed around at home during the day time.. Then at night, I went out to the Pavillion to meet my Terendak friend - Tazz. So happy to know that she's in KL. Apparently, she's staying overnight at her friend's house for she's going to Singapore the next day (i.e. today) for a cruise holiday, Singapore-Penang-Haatyai. The luxurious one, where the ship even has elevators inside. And tennis court. And not only 1, but 4 swimming pools. And casino. And driving range. You know, that type of cruise where you and I generally have in mind. Not like this one. Heh.
Kerol came and pick me at about 8pm, and together we made our move to the Menara Polo in Ampang to pick my friend, Dayana. I asked Tina to come along, but somehow she's having something else. Tazz pun satu, pukul 4 baru nak msg telling us that she's in KL. Thank God I didn't have any prior plans
Today I woke up quite early, just nice to catch Melodi at TV3. Had lunch with Mama and immediately got myself ready to go out for a bowling session with my Gombak friends at Midvalley, sort of a continuation from the one we had before, on the night of the new year eve.. :P
After 2 rounds of bowling, we had dinner at the Carl's Jr.. Yummy! Luckily we still could get a place despite of the limited seatings and a lot of people. Carl's Jr. seriously have to do something about it. They should have a better system in managing the crowd since it is located at a very high traffic area, with the cinema, bowling alley and game arcade nearby.
Acap & Hana
Khalil & Lynn
After dinner, all of us went to separate ways. Masing2 pun dah start mengeluh sebab besok kerja... Kerol and I singgah sekejap at the game arcade to play Photo Hunt before making our way back home.. *grin*
Oh ye, before the bowling session, Kerol and I went for 'a session' to 'transform':
TO THIS :)
Test water saje maaaa. Besok confirm serabai balik bak akar2 yang tumbuh meliar... :P
Ok lah.. my sister Liana asked me to go down and join her eating and watching TV. She's going back to Jakarta already tomorrow. Haihhh how time really flies eh. For instant, yesterday 5/1/2008 marked my 4th year anniversary working at the firm am working now...
Till next time! Let's work hard, the day off on Thursday is going to be the motivational factor yawww...~!
Friday, 4 January 2008
Best tengok stat counter arini tibe2 reader statistic was at its highest ever, 200++..
But tak best when I saw the details, the visitor path came from one reader, with a very generic IP. And it seems like the reader has been reading from my 1st entry up untill the latest ones, all at one go... Huhu.. Bukan ape.. I just scared of 2 things - stalker, or someone from office / client.. that's all. If normal reader / friend - keep on reading ya! :) [anyway sorry ye gambar tak clear.. dah penat belek, taktau macamane nak kasi clear.. mampuih pi lah kan... as long as you get the idea, do you?]
Best bangun pagi tadi hujan, very nice to stay still under the warmth comforter..
But tak best sebab terlajak tidur until 8.15am... huhu. I was so rushing this morning to office for the 'morning new year party'. Everyone was reminded to wear green today. I don't understand why my office likes green so much. What's wrong with blue?
Best sebab arini kat office still tak ramai orang... so, less distraction.
But tak best sebab I wasn't able to perform the best out of me in the course of completing my office assignment just yet! I couldn't even stand for an hour, I'll be all itchy to check blog la... facebook la... walk around la... sheesshhh! I don't like this situation.. It's like I'm struggling within myself... :( My heart wants something my body doesn't want to perform.. I don't know what in the world is wrong with me.. Urghhh! In the absence of managers, I was supposed to take the opportunity to outshine myself, to prove my worth.. But somehow I'm having a mental-blocked or something... I'm looking forward to next week for a start of my full momentum.. Fingers crossed I'll be back on track..
Best sebab felt like the office hours ended very fast today..
But tak best cause KL was all wet due to the heavy rain. So I was kinda stranded in office for a while because our car park is of the open area type. Everyone would want to go for the shuttle van, so I kinda dislike the idea of having to wait for my turn to hop into the van. Plus the thought of having to go out from the van, and open the umbrella while carrying a laptop bag, a handbag, and a paper bag containing office shoes in it, was very troublesome. So I waited for a while before finally making my move back at 6.45pm. The traffic was sooooooo congested! I reached Kerol's office at the GE Mall only 1.5 hr later. We settled our dinner at the Cozy Restaurant. The butter squid was very nice!
Oh yeah, on a separate matter.. tengok tak TARA - episode 7 yesterday? That episode was full of drama and tense kan??? Huhu I like!
Hmm ok lah... going to go get my sleep now.
Thursday, 3 January 2008
Hmmm.. So far everything went well.
First day at work wasn’t that bad at all. Came in late, office was more or less still half emptied. I checked my email and called clients to respond to their queries per the emails, but somehow all my calls went to no avail. Perhaps they are on leaves still as well?
I felt so lazy, it’s like as if I was still in my lala land, so I went to my director’s room to ask him for permission to allow me to go off for the day. It was still 10am then. Surprisingly, he agreed!
JAAAAANGAN LAH HARAP.
Anyway, yes I went to my director’s room. Apparently he’ll be away for the whole of next week. So he wanted this draft report am working on right now to be passed to him by the end of this week. I was like, sh*t!!!! That’s 3 days for me then. One day definitely gonna be gone just like that to take effect the inefficiency of the first day at work after the long break. As bummer as already it was, I somehow managed to take the situation well. I wasn’t panic, well, not just yet.
Ok lah.. I better start working my ass off now while I have the mojo still. The driving factor? I want to change my blog skin so badly… :D Hana dah ajar on how to do that. Hehe, thanks! Even then so, am sure I will take one heck of time to do that, saya ni bukan IT literate. HTML codes and whatnots are definitely not my area of expertise. Huhu. So to be able to do that, I have to make sure that I am clear from whatever needs to be done first. Then only I have the ample time to mess with the process of changing my blog skin! :) Now that’s something to do over this weekend. *wink*
Alritey, till later.
Tuesday, 1 January 2008
Am going back to office tomorrow. Just checked my office emails from home, and dang! there were few work-related emails. I felt so horrified (yeap, until to that extend) I decided not to open those emails just yet. Huhu. Not now.
I am in no mood to do anything. Went out with Kerol for a while just now at 6pm, we went to KLCC and had rootbeer float at A&W and wandering around, before making our move to NZ bawah for dinner. But we both decided to go back early. I was already back at home by 8.30pm. Ironically, we needed some time to prep ourselves (read: persediaan mental & emosi :P) for tomorrow is the start of the working days in 2008. No more holidays / day off here and there to look forward to, just the way we had during the end bit of 2007. Huhu. I told Kerol I hate this feeling so much, it's the feeling of sort I used to have last time when I studied in Taiping. The feeling of 'being dragged' I had everytime after the school holiday ended. Being dragged to go to Puduraya. Being dragged to take that Transnasional bus. Being dragged to go back to the place I hate to be at.
Oh well, life goes on.
Bring it on then. I hope everything turns out just fine....
Well, a quick recap on my (konon la) 2007 resolutions and its outcome:
- to drink more of plain water (a carried forward resolution hehehe) ---> hmm, I personally think I have improved a lot in terms of my liquid intake.. but there are still rooms for more improvement. so this is going to be a permanent resolution, tak kira la time new year ke tak new year ke.. it's more like for self health purposes.. :) I'm not getting any younger! *isk*
- to be more positive ---> yang ni no comment.. I need second opinion on this.
- to get my MICPA exam done, once and for all ---> this went to a total failure. worst, I have reached to a decision for that matter. I'm quitting MICPA, once and for all... huhu. No turning back.
- to do my audit secondment ---> since I've decided to stop taking MICPA, this one has automatically become void.
- to finish my Toastmaster speeches ---> hell yeah one heck of a success!!! :)
- to improve my savings $$$$ ---> can't wait for 2nd January to update my ASB book! :)
All in all, I think I had a great 2007.. Sure, there were those normal ups and downs in life.. But I strongly believe that Allah will never test us with something we cannot bear.. Hence, enough said.
What did I do last year? Well, yesterday I mean.. :P
I was suppose to go to work, but seriously tak tipu I was down with flu and sore throat since the day before. I took the proper medication but still, my condition didn't get any better when I woke up yesterday morning. So, at 7.30am I sms-ed the secretaries from my department to let them know that I'll be on MC. I continued with my sleep only to wake up at about 11am. Took my bath and went to see doctor.. While waiting for my turn, Kerol sms-ed me that our Gombak friends ajak main bowling. Serta-merta seriously tak tipu jugak mata bersinar2 rasa sihat terus sebab excited there's an activity to do with Kerol, and together with friends too. But I quickly composed myself, to make sure that I looked sick still in front of the doctor.. *grin* So after I got my medicines and the valuable MC, I went to the McD drivethrough near my house to buy myself the bubur ayam McD.
Kerol came and picked me at about 3.45pm. We went to the bowling alley at the Flamingo and the rest of the bunch was already there, awaiting for the available lanes for us. We booked for 2 lanes, for 7 of us - myself, Kerol, Acap, Hana, Lynn, Khalil and Nikman. Had a great bowling session - we played for 2 frames and our games ended at about 6.30pm. I brought along my camera to take pics, but since Lynn also brought hers, so I decided to not to use mine. So, I won't be able to upload any pics until I got them from her.
Anyway, once we went out from the Flamingo, we were annoyed by the traffic at that Ampang area... the cars were all bumper to bumper.. *sigh* After much deliberation, we finally agreed to just go hang out at the nearest place there, i.e. Suzi's Corner. Lepak there for quite a while, not only because of the freaking traffic... but KL was also down with quite a heavy rain then. Hmmmpphhh memang tak ke mana la, stranded jer kat Suzi's Corner tuh. Borak2, gelak2, bincang2 mana nak pergi afterwards, and finally upon Azidi's arrival at about 8.30pm, we decided to.....go back to Flamingo for another round of bowling! :D I personally love love looovvvee that second time game because I finally had some LUCK in bowling.. hehehe. Best!!! True enough, closure itu sangat penting, hahaha. Dapat no. 3 out of 8... ishhh memang lucky tuh. Thanks to bola no. 8 :)
We were done by 10.30pm... After we returned back our bowling shoes, Kerol and I couldn't help it but to spot the PC that has that Photo Hunt game located just near the bowling counter.. huhu.. Ape lagi, dengan gatal tangan nye I went to get the cash changed, and played 2 rounds of Photo Hunt. Ingatkan dapat beat the high score there, sebab main sampai 5 orang. Taaaapi, hmpppphhh.. fail jugak.. :)
After that we went to hang out kat McD near the Flamingo.. When it was near to 12 midnight, we decided to drive to the elevated highway to see the fireworks from there. Kerol and I made our move first. The moment we hit the highway, entering from Jalan Ampang near the Flamingo... mak aiiiii. Amek ko, terus jem kat situ. Kerol quickly called Acap to let him and the others know that it's never too late for them to change their plan, i.e. not to enter the highway.. Huhu. So, there were we, Kerol & I, stuck at the elevated highway when the clock strikes 12 midnight. Worse became worst, it was raining heavily. So it's not like we can park our car by the road side and go out of the car to watch the fireworks kan.. So duduk je la dalam keta tengok fireworks di celah2 rintik hujan kat cermin keta.. Haihhh la.
Gambar pun tak clear... But heck, an entry without a single picture is just so plain :)
Oh yeah, talking about pictures... I have some from the day before yesterday - a friend's wedding at Bangi. Though I wasn't feeling very well and the weather was so damn freaking sunny hot, I was actually glad to see the familiar faces at the wedding...my girlfriends from Taiping plus UiTM. It was like a mini gathering of sort! :)
After my friend Yani's wedding, I attended another wedding at night, at the Dewan Merak Kayangan, Jalan Gurney. It was the wedding of one of my neighbours. I went there to accompany Mama. Hmmm, some intro - people at my neighbourhood ni sangat muhibbah sikit.. even anak2 yang getting married, but mak2 mesti jemput the other mak2 jugak.. and the dads will invite the other dads jugak..because apparently they are somehow or another, close. So wedding malam tuh, I didn't know the newlyweds... but Mama knows the mother. Maka malam tuh the table which Mama and I were assigned to, was filled with makcik2 & pakcik2 jer. Being the only 'young adult' there, I was bombarded with those million dollar questions and statements - bila nak kahwin la... jangan tunggu lama2 la... berapa harga dewan laa... and the list went on and on and on.. *urghh* Biasa lah kan, bila buat kat dewan2 ni.. lambat sikit startnye.. So banyak la masa untuk 'press conference' macam tuh kan..
Anyway, it was then occured to me... Hmm.. I should start with the small step, to do my guest-to-invite list... *wink*
So I whispered to Mama, "Ma, nanti untuk orang2 from taman kita (the neighbourhood).. Mama takes care who's to invite and all ek?".
To which Mama replied, "Oh... boleh aje.. Kitorg sesama kitorg (she and her friends from the neighbourhood lah tuh), dah kira2.. kalau nak jemput orang2 kawasan kita ni.. in total is 750 orang.. with partners means dalam 1,500 orang"..
I was like,"Hahhhh??? :-O "
Seriously, kot yer pun muhibbah kan... But come to think of it, memang pun.. Setiap kali ade jer people from my neighbourhood yang get married, table untuk jiran jer memang ade banyak... Huhu. Terus terbantut nak start with the guest list step. Nak kena compose myself first with the reality slap I just had. *Sigh* Susahnye nak kawen, banyak betul benda nak kena buat. Kalau lah I have extra cash, surely I'll just go and get a wedding planner for me.
OMG. It's only the first day of 2008 and I'm having headache already talking about wedding? What gives???! Sheeshh.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Cheers~! to many more great years to come.